


Long Way Home

by gilshaelos



Category: LISA (Video Games)
Genre: Caves, Drug Withdrawal, Hallucinations, Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 12:14:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18992458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gilshaelos/pseuds/gilshaelos
Summary: Brad hallucinates and feels shame.Terry thinks sleep is the best solution.





	Long Way Home

Brad stared at the blue pills he and the others recently picked up from previous fights. He swayed, burning a hole through his hand. He knew the longer he took to take them, the more he would take when he'd give in eventually. He always did. But not now, not anymore.  
He shoved them back into his pocket. He was clean, Brad reminded himself as he breathed. He swayed, and then motioned the party to sit and set up camp. Brad knew he reached his limit for the day.

Nern talked at Olan over the small campfire, and Terry hovered a little too far away. He stood near a rocky cliff wall, in front of a decently sized cave. Not everyone would fit inside there to sleep. Brad thought, maybe two people, but probably not.

Brad heaved himself from the dirt and made his way over to where Terry was. He stood next to him, and felt his eyes shake.  
Terry happily said a greeting, but Brad didn’t hear it.  
Brad stared at Terry's face, and watched it melt and shift. He watched his face reform, and he stared at him, pouring over details.  
Brad thought he was handsome. Then Brad thought that he, himself, was being disgusting.

Brad blinked for what seemed like hours, and suddenly he was standing in front of a beat up house. He knew this house to be safe, but wasn't sure why. He wished he took that Joy. 

"Terry?" He knew how strange he must look, talking and being so close to him. But Brad had to get Terry in this house, he didn't know why. "Please, get inside. I need you to...Uhm..." He faltered.

Need him to what?  
Break him out of his hallucination? Or push him away so Terry didn't do it to him first?  
Brad put his rough hand onto Terry's, and felt as if he were in danger.

"Brad." Terry whispered. "I think you're having a hallucination dude..." He didn't pull his hand away. Brad held Terry's hand, purely to seemingly protect it from the Olathian air.

"I know, but listen… It’s… Important." Brad muttered out, then held an arm out to steady himself against the (rocky?) rough house wall. He glanced into Terry's eyes, and felt shame.

Terry furrowed his brows, but grabbed Brad's arm and pulled him inside the cave."Okay! Let's get inside then!" He seemed uneasy, Brad learned how Terry sounded when he was nervous.

They opened the door (Was there a door? Who leaves a house unlocked? It’s a dangerous neighborhood.) and Terry shuffled his feet, trying to squeeze inside. The scent of sweet smelling flowers made Brad feel warm. The room smelled so nice. Brad stumbled in, and groped the wall for a light switch.  
Terry guided Brad into a sitting position, then sat down across from him. Maybe he sat too close, but Terry didn’t notice. He looked at Brad's face, and Brad looked at anything but Terry.  
The hot air wrapped around them in the cave they shared. The gentle smell and the warm feeling of each other's presence, Brad felt an encroaching horror and tranquility. He knew that the moment that he heard Terry's sweet voice talking, it would be the end. 

For the first time in years, Brad stared at someone, and wanted to be closer. His head spun.  
Terry smiled at Brad. "Are you okay now, dude?"

Brad felt like his skin was going to crawl right off of his body. “You don’t have to comfort me.” Brad’s surroundings started to shift, and then the small, sweet smelling house was gone. And he was left in a cave, alone with Terry. The hallucinations’ small spots lingered, floating beside Terry.

Terry’s hand was still in Brad’s, and he felt the urgent need to yank it away and shove Terry away.  
Brad studied Terry’s face. He felt so vulnerable. Brad pressed himself against the wall, trying to make himself smaller.  
“If you don’t say anything, this is going to take awhile.” Terry spoke with a gentle playfulness. He spoke in a certain way in which Brad recognized as him “testing the waters” of the atmosphere.

What was this atmosphere? It was agonizingly slow. Brad felt safe, and yet, he felt danger signals coming from his gut. 

“Do you want me to leave you alone, dude?”  
Brad looked at the now standing Terry, he had a smile on his face.  
He looked to the side, and fixed his cheetah patterned tank top. “Because I can totally give you some alone time… I can just… Sit over there, I guess.” His voice faltered, and he stared into the distance. “With, uh, Nern and Olan of course.” He sheepishly finished.  
He was still holding onto Brad’s hand.  
Brad swallowed, “Um…” Brad gave Terry’s hand a gentle squeeze. “You can stay here.”  
“How come?”  
Brad scowled at Terry through the darkness. Terry always tried to get Brad to be a little less introverted. It’s an uphill battle for the both of them. Brad assumed it was because Terry thought Brad was too awkward or weird or quiet or… Too much.  
Brad gave an indignant huff, and replied, “Just in case y’know…” He trailed off, feeling hot with a strange sense of shame.  
He wasn’t sure what “just in case” was referring to. But Terry seemed to understand, despite Brad’s vagueness.  
Terry gave a short laugh, and let go of Brad’s hand. Brad let it hover in the air for a few moments before he withdrew it to his side. Hiding it as to not take up more space than he already was.  
“It’s their turn to keep watch for now.” He mused. “I’ll go let them know that we’re both going to hit the hay early.” Terry glanced at Brad, smirking slightly.  
Brad groaned.  
“Hey! Going to bed early is very healthy!” Terry proudly said. “That’s a hint for you, from Terry in dreamland.”

Terry walked off before Brad could reply to him.  
Brad stared at the dirt between his legs. Sleep did actually sound quite good to him, but he didn’t want to admit it. Maybe sleeping will keep away the hallucinations, he thought.  
He saw a blurry figure across from him, just out of view. He hoped Terry would come back soon.

“Do you hate me?” A familiar voice asked.  
Brad was silent, he knew better at this point.  
“You asked him to stay…” She continued. “You gave him your hand.”  
It means nothing, Brad defended against no one. He felt humiliated, and his skin was crawling again.  
“I guess you’re finally forgetting about me. You’re so cruel, Brad.”  
Brad whipped his head up, glaring at the empty space in front of him and gritting his teeth. He breathed, tense and stressed. He lowered his gaze to the dirt again.  
“Do you hate Terry?” Her voice like ice. “If you cared about me, then you should.”  
“I’m sorry,” Brad wheezed out to himself. 

“Brad?”

Brad looked to the small cave’s mouth, Terry was crouching inside again. He sat across from Brad, and adjusted himself to be lying on his side.  
“Well c’mon now, man.” Brad heard him pat the dirt. “It’s time to sleep. They’re gonna keep watch, but we have the next shift. Which sucks, but we’re tough!”  
Brad stared at Terry, his eyes focused and unfocused ever so slightly. He shut his eyes tight until he saw stars. “No.” He allowed himself to slump over slightly. “I’ll take up too much room. I’ll sleep sitting up.”  
He felt Terry staring at him. He tried to ignore it. He tried to ignore any thoughts he had about Terry. He tried to ignore his withdrawal, and the gnawing ache he felt whilst he was awake.  
Terry said nothing as he shuffled a little closer to Brad. He felt the warmth Terry gave off and Brad felt like he had done something very, very wrong.  
Terry arranged himself in a curled up position, facing towards Brad. Soon after, Brad heard Terry’s quiet and even breaths.  
Brad tried to reason with himself. Why did he feel like he did something wrong? They’re just sharing a space together. You can do that without freaking him out like a creep, right Brad? He asked himself bitterly.  
Terry shifted into another position, this time on his back. Brad stared at his face, and he felt light and felt his stomach lurch at the same time. He wondered if Terry could feel Brad’s eyes on him. Brad would tear his eyes away from him, but would always wander back to him.  
Terry fell asleep, and Brad was alone in the small cave once again.  
He stared at the dirt between his feet, and waited for sleep to take him.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first REAL fic so .. be gentle but id love your thoughts. i think i wrote brad and terry alright but im not sure yet. ill keep at it :)  
> im planning on writing a lot of stuff hopefully, but this took awhile and it took awhile for me to get the guts to even post it im rlly nervous haha  
> follow me on twitter cuz i ramble abt bradterry a lot these days  
> @gilshaelos1


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